Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I suppose it could just be a coincidence, but since I took the Phillies flag down (and they got a couple of losses out of their system), the Phillies have won 4 in a row. They turned a triple play, the bullpen hasn't blown a game, MM fave Pat Burrell is batting .340 - how cool is that? Could it all be due to my putting up my spring flag?! What other explanation could there be? I expect Jon Lieber to show up at my front door in his giganto monster truck at any moment to thank me.

The only fly in this glorious ointment [umm....ew] is the usually sterling Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Kalas.

I don't know if he's getting bored or what, but he just hasn't been up to his usual standards lately. The Phillies used to have a broadcaster named Andy Musser, who was a good guy but not the greatest on-air presence. He habitually misjudged fly balls so that you heard this from him: "LONG DRIVE!!! Back back back - oh it's caught by the shortstop..." We used to mock him (gently) about this, but now Harry does it all the time. "LONG DRIVE!!! WATCH THAT BABY!!!! Oh it's caught."

During spring training, the Phillies played the Red Sox and Daisuke Matsuzaka was starting for the Sox. During the pre-game chitter-chat, Harry said, "And the Phillies face Dasukay Matsuzakwa...[we groan]... yes, Matsuzakwa...I guess that's how you say it."

No Harry, that's not how you say it. And it's not like this guy is some kid from Single-A that you've never heard of. The fee just to talk to him was FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS. Remember all that kerfluffle in the offseason with the Yankees and the Red Sox battling for the rights to sign this guy? For a veteran baseball announcer not to know how to pronounce his name was mind-boggling. Even Gus, who already has a Matsuzaka t-shirt, knew how to pronounce his name six months ago.

Then last night, we're watching the Phils play the Nationals, and Shane Victorino (the Flyin' Hawaiian) comes up to bat, and Harry says [and I am not paraphrasing. This is exactly what he said.]: "Shane may be from Hawaii, but he sure doesn't have LUAU FEET." Matthew and I exchange stunned glances... Then Harry says something about Hawaiians having big lumpy feet. WHA? What in the world are "luau feet"? I've never been to Hawaii, so if this is a common expression I've never heard of it. Has anyone out there encountered this before? Maybe if you eat a lot at a luau, you can't move fast because you're so full?*

Anyway, that was bizarre.

*I googled "luau feet". There's a Hawaiian song called "Luau Feet"
When I'm walking down the street
People look at my big feet
I don't let that bother me
I have luau feet

Well, now we know.


Blogger CurlyGirl said...

"Luau Feet" seems somehow very politically incorrect (as well as not bothering to learn how to pronounce a Japanese name!) But I'd still invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner!

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i believe if you grow up in barefoot in Hawaii or Alabama, the feet can become very wide and the toes wide spread.

i think that would be kinda kewl but also tough when you do have to go buy school shoes.

Duke Kahanamoku ("the Swimming Duke" and the father of modern surfing) had size 13 feet and it was thought the size was a major factor helping him win his swimming Olympic gold medal in 1912. see link for details.

shooting a shaka from the left coast!

1:31 PM  
Blogger diana said...

CG - I have to admit it sounded weird coming out of Harry's mouth. Is he coming over for Thanksgiving??

EPP - thanks for the surfing info! I have to admit that now that I've encountered this expression, I feel like using it all the time: "Gus! Time to go to school! Stop those luau feet!" or "I'd like to help you, ma'am, but I didn't get enough sleep and I have luau feet today..."

5:00 PM  
Blogger Liberty Fan said...

Unky Harry is coming for Thanksgiving??? I'll be there with bells on my luau feet!!!!

5:23 PM  

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